All topics: every page on The Cusp

Every page on The Cusp, in one place. Around four hundred of them — fifty states deep on the things that vary by state, and one page each on the things that do not.

If you know what you are looking for, type it. If you do not, the sections below run roughly in the order most people need them: what the process is, then what it costs, then the children, then the money that outlives the divorce, then the part after. Safety sits on its own because it cannot wait its turn.

In this subject 29

Start here14 pages

If you have just landed and do not know which end to pick up first.

The CuspThe front doorDivorce kits by stateThe step-by-step for your state, with the actual formsWhat divorce costsFiling fees, attorney rates and the gap between themWho pays attorney’s fees, by stateWhen a judge can make one spouse pay the other’s lawyer, and getting fees during the caseUncontested divorce, by stateWhen you both agree: who qualifies, whether you see a judge, and the shortest waitDivorce laws by stateCost, waiting period, residency and e-filing access in all fifty states, side by sideHow the e-filing table was builtSource hierarchy, what counts as confirmed, and what happens when we are wrongDo you have to e-file?Where the choice is yours, where the court will not let you, and what the portal adds to the feeDoes cheating change the money?Four states where adultery can cost a spouse alimony, ten where the court may not consider itAfter an affairThe questions at two in the morning, and which ones have answersWe tried again — does that change anything?Forgiving an affair can bar you from using it. Fifteen states, and what counts as forgivingThe parts that are the same everywhereFederal law does not care which state you are inWhat fifteen state revenue departments told usWe asked every state the same question about alimony tax. Fifteen answered in writingWhere we were wrongEvery error we have found and fixed, dated and publicHow to read these pagesWhat the source lines, the confirmed markers and the gaps on every page meanSomething just happenedThe balance is zero, or it is seven o’clock and the children are not back – what to do in the next hourCusp VerifiedWhat the badge means and how a professional earns itAbout The CuspWho is behind this and why it existsYou are not the only oneHow common this is, drawn rather than asserted

Not sure where to begin1 pages

Six hundred and sixty pages is useful once you know what you are looking for, and overwhelming before that.

Start hereFour questions, then the handful of pages that apply to you, in the order they will make sense

What people wish they had known1 pages

Six hundred and sixty pages come down to about thirty things, and almost all of them are found out after the moment they would have been useful.

What I wish I had known earlierEvery expensive lesson on this site in one filterable list, with what not knowing each one costs

If this only just happened7 pages

Almost nothing has to be decided this week. The things people do in the first seven days out of panic are the ones they spend the next two years undoing.

The first thirty daysWhat has to happen now, what can wait, and the advice everyone gives that is usually wrongDiscoveryFinding out what you actually own, and the tax return read line by lineWhen you think assets are being hiddenThe patterns, how each is traced, and the lottery case that cost a wife everythingWhat your state calls itConservatorship, time sharing, community property. The words that change at the state lineMoving out, and the houseWhether leaving costs you your share, whose name is on what, and the four different things called separationLegal separation vs divorce, by stateWhich states offer it, what they call it, and when it can become a divorceAnnulment, by stateVoid and voidable marriages, the grounds, and how long you haveTemporary orders and interim supportWhat a court can order in the first weeks, from both sides: what you may receive and what you may be told to payAutomatic ordersIn twenty-two states a court order takes effect on both spouses once a divorce case starts

Divorce kits, all fifty states52 pages

One kit per state: grounds, residency, the forms by their real names and numbers, filing fees, waiting periods, and where the process differs from what people assume.

The index

All fifty divorce kitsPick a stateBefore you signNot whether the settlement is fair – the things simply missing from an agreement that looks finished

By state

ALAlabamaAKAlaskaAZArizonaARArkansasCACaliforniaCOColoradoCTConnecticutDEDelawareFLFloridaGAGeorgiaHIHawaiiIDIdahoILIllinoisINIndianaIAIowaKSKansasKYKentuckyLALouisianaMEMaineMDMarylandMAMassachusettsMIMichiganMNMinnesotaMSMississippiMOMissouriMTMontanaNENebraskaNVNevadaNHNew HampshireNJNew JerseyNMNew MexicoNYNew YorkNCNorth CarolinaNDNorth DakotaOHOhioOKOklahomaOROregonPAPennsylvaniaRIRhode IslandSCSouth CarolinaSDSouth DakotaTNTennesseeTXTexasUTUtahVTVermontVAVirginiaWAWashingtonWVWest VirginiaWIWisconsinWYWyoming

What it actually costs55 pages

Filing fees are public and knowable. Attorney fees are not, so we separated the two rather than averaging them into a number nobody pays.

Nationwide

What divorce costsThe national picture, and why the averages misleadWhat people actually payReported figures rather than quoted onesIs this worth fighting over?The cost of the fight against the value of the thing, in your own numbers. Nothing storedFlorida costs, in detailA worked example, county by countyThe house in a Florida divorceWhat happens to the home

Cost by state

ALAlabamaAKAlaskaAZArizonaARArkansasCACaliforniaCOColoradoCTConnecticutDEDelawareFLFloridaGAGeorgiaHIHawaiiIDIdahoILIllinoisINIndianaIAIowaKSKansasKYKentuckyLALouisianaMEMaineMDMarylandMAMassachusettsMIMichiganMNMinnesotaMSMississippiMOMissouriMTMontanaNENebraskaNVNevadaNHNew HampshireNJNew JerseyNMNew MexicoNYNew YorkNCNorth CarolinaNDNorth DakotaOHOhioOKOklahomaOROregonPAPennsylvaniaRIRhode IslandSCSouth CarolinaSDSouth DakotaTNTennesseeTXTexasUTUtahVTVermontVAVirginiaWAWashingtonWVWest VirginiaWIWisconsinWYWyoming

Children176 pages

Custody and support are the two things every state legislates differently and almost every site describes generically. These are written from each state’s own statute.

The things that are not state-specific

Child custody: the national pictureIs 50/50 really the default? What the statutes actually sayChild support: how it is calculatedThe three models, and which states use whichWhen child support is not paidArrears, enforcement, and what interest the state addsNannies, au pairs and babysittersWho pays, and the employer rules that arrive whether you knew or notFinding childcare when the schedule changesCovering the evenings, mornings and after-school hours you never had to cover beforeCo-parentingCommunication, handovers, and what reliably goes wrongParenting arrangementsSchedules that work, by the age of the childWhich state decides custodyJurisdiction, and why it is settled earlier than you thinkMoving with your childrenThe mileage triggers, the notice clock, and who has to prove whatRelocation rules by stateAll fifty — statute, notice period and what triggers itWho speaks for your childGuardians ad litem, child’s attorneys and custody evaluators — and who paysFor kids and teens, not parentsWritten to young people, ages 10 and up — with a safety exit on every pageMy parents are getting divorced: 10 to 12Why it is not your fault, for an actual reason, and what is not your jobMy parents are getting divorced: 13 to 15You did not sign up to be anybody’s therapistMy parents are getting divorced: 16 to 18You are allowed to leave anyway — and the money conversation, honestlyChildren of divorce, by ageSix bands, what actually changes between them, and where the sources run outDivorce with a baby or toddlerUnder three there is nothing to explain — routine is the explanationDivorce with a preschoolerAt four they can believe they caused it, and will not say soDivorce with a six to eight year oldThe reunion-fantasy age, and how to answer it without crushing themDivorce with a nine to twelve year oldKeeping score, assigning blame, and why a say is not a choiceDivorce with an early teenagerTwo separations at once, and the temptation to recruit themDivorce with a late teenagerThe risk at seventeen is not the divorce, it is being told too muchChildren of divorceWhat the research shows, and where it gets misquotedAt what age can a child choose?No state lets a child decide. What changes is how much their wishes count, and when the court must listenMore days, or better days?How often a nonresident parent sees a child does not by itself predict how the child does. Two things do

Custody by state

ALAlabamaAKAlaskaAZArizonaARArkansasCACaliforniaCOColoradoCTConnecticutDEDelawareFLFloridaGAGeorgiaHIHawaiiIDIdahoILIllinoisINIndianaIAIowaKSKansasKYKentuckyLALouisianaMEMaineMDMarylandMAMassachusettsMIMichiganMNMinnesotaMSMississippiMOMissouriMTMontanaNENebraskaNVNevadaNHNew HampshireNJNew JerseyNMNew MexicoNYNew YorkNCNorth CarolinaNDNorth DakotaOHOhioOKOklahomaOROregonPAPennsylvaniaRIRhode IslandSCSouth CarolinaSDSouth DakotaTNTennesseeTXTexasUTUtahVTVermontVAVirginiaWAWashingtonWVWest VirginiaWIWisconsinWYWyoming

Support by state

ALAlabamaAKAlaskaAZArizonaARArkansasCACaliforniaCOColoradoCTConnecticutDEDelawareFLFloridaGAGeorgiaHIHawaiiIDIdahoILIllinoisINIndianaIAIowaKSKansasKYKentuckyLALouisianaMEMaineMDMarylandMAMassachusettsMIMichiganMNMinnesotaMSMississippiMOMissouriMTMontanaNENebraskaNVNevadaNHNew HampshireNJNew JerseyNMNew MexicoNYNew YorkNCNorth CarolinaNDNorth DakotaOHOhioOKOklahomaOROregonPAPennsylvaniaRIRhode IslandSCSouth CarolinaSDSouth DakotaTNTennesseeTXTexasUTUtahVTVermontVAVirginiaWAWashingtonWVWest VirginiaWIWisconsinWYWyoming

Who speaks for your child, by state

ALAlabamaAKAlaskaAZArizonaARArkansasCACaliforniaCOColoradoCTConnecticutDEDelawareFLFloridaGAGeorgiaHIHawaiiIDIdahoILIllinoisINIndianaIAIowaKSKansasKYKentuckyLALouisianaMEMaineMDMarylandMAMassachusettsMIMichiganMNMinnesotaMSMississippiMOMissouriMTMontanaNENebraskaNVNevadaNHNew HampshireNJNew JerseyNMNew MexicoNYNew YorkNCNorth CarolinaNDNorth DakotaOHOhioOKOklahomaOROregonPAPennsylvaniaRIRhode IslandSCSouth CarolinaSDSouth DakotaTNTennesseeTXTexasUTUtahVTVermontVAVirginiaWAWashingtonWVWest VirginiaWIWisconsinWYWyoming
Visitation and parenting timeWhat your state calls it, the schedules real orders are built from, relocation notice, and what you can get when your time is withheld

After the order13 pages

Almost everything written about divorce stops at the decree. This is the part where the order exists and is not working — the money has stopped, the schedule has broken down, or the life it was written for no longer exists.

When the order stops workingStart here: enforcement, modification, and which route fits your problemFiling for contemptHow it works, and why the court must find they could have paidArrears, licenses and passportsThe federal rule that makes back support permanent, and the 2,500 dollar passport lineEnforcing alimonyA harder road: the state agency usually will not collect it for youWhen a parent withholds the childrenMake-up time, contempt, and why you still have to payChanging the support numberUp or down, the three-year federal review, and the imputed-income trapChanging custodyThe higher bar, and what a contested custody case actually involvesAlienation of affectionSuing the third party. Down to three states, and two left in 2026When a divorce goes to trialWhen litigating is the right call, the sequence of a contested case, and what happens in the roomReopening a divorce that is already finalFraud, perjury, concealment and duress: the six grounds, and the clock that in some states runs from the day you found outAppealing a divorce judgmentThirty days in most states, sixty in California, and the standard of review that decides most appeals before a brief is writtenWhen you cannot pay child supportFile the week your income changes, and find out which part of the arrears your state can actually compromiseWhen the income suddenly disappearsImputed income: what a court does when someone stops earning

Safety and protective orders58 pages

Fifty protective order guides, each traced to the statute itself. The firearms provisions are the part most sites get wrong — eleven states put theirs outside the domestic violence chapter entirely.

Read these first

Protective orders: how they workThe index, and the vocabulary each state usesGuns and protection ordersThe federal rule, and what it does not do on its ownWhich states actually take the gunsSurrender, storage and who enforces itDigital safetyShared accounts, location history, and the line you must not crossLetters that look official and are notThe tell is always the disclaimer, and the disclaimer is always there

Protective orders by state

ALAlabamaAKAlaskaAZArizonaARArkansasCACaliforniaCOColoradoCTConnecticutDEDelawareFLFloridaGAGeorgiaHIHawaiiIDIdahoILIllinoisINIndianaIAIowaKSKansasKYKentuckyLALouisianaMEMaineMDMarylandMAMassachusettsMIMichiganMNMinnesotaMSMississippiMOMissouriMTMontanaNENebraskaNVNevadaNHNew HampshireNJNew JerseyNMNew MexicoNYNew YorkNCNorth CarolinaNDNorth DakotaOHOhioOKOklahomaOROregonPAPennsylvaniaRIRhode IslandSCSouth CarolinaSDSouth DakotaTNTennesseeTXTexasUTUtahVTVermontVAVirginiaWAWashingtonWVWest VirginiaWIWisconsinWYWyoming
Trauma bonds, and breaking freeWhy attachment gets stronger when affection and harm come from the same person, and what the evidence does and does not supportChild abuse, neglect and CPSWhat the words mean, what an investigation actually does, who has to report, and the federal numbersIf you have been accused of abuse or neglectYour rights at the door, the safety plan trap, what a finding does, the appeal nobody mentions, and the honest false-allegation numbers

Abuse and the divorce case1 pages

The site carries protective orders in all fifty states. This is the layer underneath: how abuse changes the divorce itself.

Domestic violence and divorceCoercive control, custody presumptions, why mediation is the wrong room, and documenting safely

If one of you owns a business3 pages

Probably the largest asset in the marriage, and the one nobody can agree on. Two competent valuers can look at the same company and produce numbers that differ by a factor of three, entirely legitimately.

Valuing a businessThe three approaches, and why the discount rate does most of the workGoodwill, double dipping and discountsWhere the money actually is, and it differs sharply by stateHiring a valuerOne expert or two, and the calculation-versus-valuation trap

Money that outlives the divorce115 pages

Support, retirement, tax, debt and benefits. Most of the expensive mistakes happen here, months after the decree, because nobody said the deadline out loud.

Nationwide

Getting your finances in orderThe whole money picture — what to expect, what is taxable, who pays the lawyersWhich states still tax alimonyFour decoupled states, four different mechanisms, and the four words that separate Arkansas from AlabamaDivorce money by stateAll fifty in one table — and the four states that tax alimony differentlyThe contracts a decree cannot divideMortgages, car leases, life insurance and club membershipsGoing back to workWhat your state’s alimony statute already says, and the funded training nobody knows aboutAlimony: the fifty-state pictureWhat each state calls it and how long it lastsDivorce and taxesFiling status, the 2019 alimony change, and who claims the childDividing retirementQDROs, IRAs and pensions — three different mechanismsSocial Security on an ex-spouse’s recordThe ten-year rule, and what it does not requireHealth insurance after divorceCOBRA, the sixty-day window, and the marketplaceDivorce and debtWhy the decree does not bind your creditorsBankruptcy and divorceWhat a filing stops, what it never stops, and which chapter wipes out a property settlementWhen they stop payingEnforcement, arrears and the tools that workBeneficiaries and willsThe paperwork that silently outlives the marriageThe houseSelling, buying out, and refinancing on one income

Alimony by state

ALAlabamaAKAlaskaAZArizonaARArkansasCACaliforniaCOColoradoCTConnecticutDEDelawareFLFloridaGAGeorgiaHIHawaiiIDIdahoILIllinoisINIndianaIAIowaKSKansasKYKentuckyLALouisianaMEMaineMDMarylandMAMassachusettsMIMichiganMNMinnesotaMSMississippiMOMissouriMTMontanaNENebraskaNVNevadaNHNew HampshireNJNew JerseyNMNew MexicoNYNew YorkNCNorth CarolinaNDNorth DakotaOHOhioOKOklahomaOROregonPAPennsylvaniaRIRhode IslandSCSouth CarolinaSDSouth DakotaTNTennesseeTXTexasUTUtahVTVermontVAVirginiaWAWashingtonWVWest VirginiaWIWisconsinWYWyoming

The money picture, by state

ALAlabamaAKAlaskaAZArizonaARArkansasCACaliforniaCOColoradoCTConnecticutDEDelawareFLFloridaGAGeorgiaHIHawaiiIDIdahoILIllinoisINIndianaIAIowaKSKansasKYKentuckyLALouisianaMEMaineMDMarylandMAMassachusettsMIMichiganMNMinnesotaMSMississippiMOMissouriMTMontanaNENebraskaNVNevadaNHNew HampshireNJNew JerseyNMNew MexicoNYNew YorkNCNorth CarolinaNDNorth DakotaOHOhioOKOklahomaOROregonPAPennsylvaniaRIRhode IslandSCSouth CarolinaSDSouth DakotaTNTennesseeTXTexasUTUtahVTVermontVAVirginiaWAWashingtonWVWest VirginiaWIWisconsinWYWyoming

Prenups and postnups12 pages

What makes one enforceable, what quietly voids it, and the clauses that are worth arguing about.

Prenuptial agreementsWhat they can and cannot doWhat a prenup coversIs what you owned before the marriage already protected? Inheritances, trusts, and what makes one fair – all 50 statesPostnuptial agreementsThe same document, signed later, and treated differentlyPrenup checklistDisclosure, timing, counsel — the things courts look atPrenup clausesClause by clause, with the ones that get struckChallenging a prenup or postnupThe grounds, the timing, and the honest answer on whether it is worth it – the challenges that win are usually procedural, not about fairnessWhat am I not thinking about?A real prenup question, answered – the inheritance, the down payment, and money from parentsThe prenup and deathThe elective share, the homestead claim, and the one right a prenup cannot waiveAlready married, already mixedWhat a postnup can still fix once the money has moved – and the limit nobody mentionsPrenups and your 401(k)Federal law says a waiver signed before the wedding is not spousal consent – what does work, and whenCan a prenup waive alimony?Every state and D.C. – where a waiver is void, re-judged at divorce, or enforced as writtenMoved states during the marriage?Quasi-community property, the uniform act, the Florida homestead trap, and opt-in community property trusts

Moving and storage7 pages

Almost everything written about moving during a divorce assumes there is one move. There are usually two, and they are not the same problem.

Moving during a divorceThere are usually two moves, and they are not the same problemBefore you make a moveThe short window between deciding and filing where people do the thing that costs them the caseEvery federally authorized moving company, by state1,252 companies in the entire United States hold active federal authority to move household goodsWill the company you called actually move you?A fifteen-second check that is the same fifteen seconds for everyoneStorage during a divorceThe standard answer to the standard problem, and what it costs over a yearStorage options during a divorceA household of furniture needs somewhere to go for a year – the options comparedHiring a professional organizer while you are separatingAn organizer will do in a week what you have not managed in a year

The house and the money to move10 pages

The largest asset, the largest debt and the largest feeling, which pull in three different directions. What it is worth after tax, what it costs to keep, and whether you can borrow in your own name.

The houseStart here: sell it, keep it, or rent insteadSelling the marital homeCapital gains, basis, and the timing that is worth real moneyKeeping the houseThe buyout price, the true carrying cost, and deferred sale ordersWhat to do about the houseIncluding the three situations where calling an agent is the wrong next stepFinding an agent who has done a divorce saleWhat is different about one, and the four questions that tell you whether they knowFour questions to ask an agentA printable one-pager — the four that tell you whether they have done a divorce sale beforeQualifying for a mortgageHow support counts as income, and against you if you pay itGetting off the joint mortgageRefinance, assumption, release of liability, saleCreditThe decree does not change a contract with your lenderRenting insteadThe honest case for not rushing back into ownership

Finding professionals58 pages

Attorneys, mediators, financial analysts and therapists, by state. Everyone listed is checked against a licensing board, and we publish how we make money from it.

How this works

The professional directoryEveryone we have verified, by state and specialtyDivorce coachesWhat the credential actually means, and what a coach is cheaper thanA stepfamily lens: checklist for professionalsPrintable practice aid, adapted from Appendix A with permissionWhat we require of an agent before we introduce oneLicense checked with the regulator, six closed sales, 4.7 or better across every review site, and our trainingFor professionalsEvery licensed professional listed free. Nobody can pay to rank higher or pay for the badgeMake a client handoutType over the firm name, pick your state, and press printWhat “Cusp Verified” meansThe check we actually runHow we make moneyIn full, including what we refuse

Directory by state

ALAlabamaAKAlaskaAZArizonaARArkansasCACaliforniaCOColoradoCTConnecticutDEDelawareFLFloridaGAGeorgiaHIHawaiiIDIdahoILIllinoisINIndianaIAIowaKSKansasKYKentuckyLALouisianaMEMaineMDMarylandMAMassachusettsMIMichiganMNMinnesotaMSMississippiMOMissouriMTMontanaNENebraskaNVNevadaNHNew HampshireNJNew JerseyNMNew MexicoNYNew YorkNCNorth CarolinaNDNorth DakotaOHOhioOKOklahomaOROregonPAPennsylvaniaRIRhode IslandSCSouth CarolinaSDSouth DakotaTNTennesseeTXTexasUTUtahVTVermontVAVirginiaWAWashingtonWVWest VirginiaWIWisconsinWYWyoming

Lawyers, doing it yourself, and the words5 pages

Most people in family court have no lawyer. Whether that is reasonable or expensive self-harm turns on facts you can check in ten minutes.

Questions to ask a lawyerThirty of them, grouped, with what a bad answer sounds likeRetainers, and firing your attorneyWhat a retainer actually is, the signs it is time to go, and which complaint goes whereDoing it without a lawyerWhen it is reasonable, the hard stops, and the middle nobody mentionsMediationWhat it is good at, what it is not, when it is unsafe, and what to ask before you bookThe glossaryEvery term they will use without explaining it

Occasions6 pages

Every etiquette book ever published assumes one household. Weddings, graduations, funerals, holidays and birthdays happen to divorced families too.

The occasions nobody wrote the rules forEvery etiquette book assumes one household. These are the ones that assume twoHosting the holidays when the family is dividedOne house, one table and one set of adults who all speak to each other – and what to do when that is not the situationBirthdays across two householdsThe occasion that happens every year for eighteen years, which makes the pattern matter more than any single oneGraduations, when the parents are divorcedFour hours, assigned seating, a limited number of tickets, and a photograph that will exist foreverWedding invitation wording when the parents are divorcedA card has to be printed that says who is giving this weddingFunerals and obituaries when there has been a divorceQuestions that arrive in the same twenty-four hours as the death, with no time to work them out

Life after18 pages

The part no guide covers, and the part where the most-repeated statistics turn out to have no source.

Blended familiesWhat actually works, and what is just customStepfamilies: what the research saysThree famous figures, traced — two of them have no sourceSeven things to know about blended familiesPatricia Papernow’s one-page handout, reproduced with her permission. Built to printEstate planning in a stepfamilyWhat everyone inherits by default — and the beneficiary form that beats your willWhen your child’s other parent repartnersYou are the parent watching someone else do the daily parenting — what the law gives you and what it can takeIf you repartnered but did not remarryThe law treats you as strangers — and exactly which documents undo thatThe stepfamily planning worksheetPrintable, free, no sign-up — the conversations and documents two people need to get throughStepparents and the courtWritten for judges, evaluators and family lawyers: the case pattern nobody is trained to seeWhen a stepchild rejects youThe discipline mistake behind most of it, and the sequence that worksStepmothersThe hardest position in the structure, and why it is the structureBefore you remarryThe version with the money in it: what ends automatically on the day, and what to plan beforehandDating againThe legal risk nobody mentions, and how to stay safeDating apps comparedTwenty-one apps: what each says it is for, how the money works, and who actually owns itWhen your ex diesThe ten-year Social Security rule, whether support ends, the life insurance trap, custody, and the estateAfter the divorce: the checklistThe most expensive mistakes in a divorce are made in the year after itDating again: who pays, and the rest of itWho pays, does he pick her up, when to have sex, when to tell the children – and the honest fact that none of it is researchedDating a divorcee, or someone who never marriedAnother divorced person, someone who never married, or someone six weeks out – and the cohabitation rule that can end a new partner’s alimonySex with your exOne of the most common things that happens during a divorce, and one of the least written about

Health and self-care15 pages

You will be asked to make permanent decisions about money and children while sleeping badly and grieving someone who is still alive. This section is written from the research rather than from inspirational quotes.

Health and self-careStart here: what the evidence actually supports, and what it does notTherapy, and how to find itWhat the letters after a name mean, what it costs, and what a divorce coach is notGrief that has no funeralThere are no five stages, and the year-per-five-years rule has no sourceMedication, and the custody questionWhether therapy or antidepressants can be used against you as a parentSleepThe first thing to go, and the treatment that beats a pillDrinkingWhat the numbers show, and the options that are not a church basementMovementThe evidence honestly stated, including where it is weaker than the headlinesEating for oneThe divorce diet, the weight research, and when cooking stops feeling worth itAppearance and the glow-upReal prices and recovery times, who may hold the needle, and the evidence on happinessBody image and dating againFrank rather than coy, including the sexual health conversation nobody hasMenopause and midlife hormonesWhere the symptoms get blamed on the divorce and go untreated for yearsMen’s healthWhere the outcomes are worse, and whyKeeping your own healthcare goingRecords, a new doctor, and the coverage gapDepression, anxiety, guilt, loneliness, reliefThe named states, with the real numbers behind each, and what the evidence says actually helpsSupport groups and resourcesA directory that was actually checked: crisis lines, divorce and single-parent groups, legal aid and low-cost therapy, with the dead links named as dead

Travel57 pages

Travel changes when you are no longer a “we” — the passport rules that need both parents, what a consent letter actually does, rotating holidays, and what it costs to travel as one.

Start here

Travel after divorcePassports, consent letters, the Hague Convention, and traveling as oneTravel and custody, state by stateRelocation notice, abduction-prevention powers, and your standard orderTraveling as oneWhy one person pays for two, and the four things that actually workWho waives the single supplementAround forty companies, quoted from their own sitesTraveling with friendsRooms, splitting the money, insurance, and what happens to your milesSingles tripsSingles ski weeks, adult camps, and which famous resorts will not take you aloneSplitting the holidaysHow eleven states divide the year, and the April deadline that decides your summer

By state

ALAlabamaAKAlaskaAZArizonaARArkansasCACaliforniaCOColoradoCTConnecticutDEDelawareFLFloridaGAGeorgiaHIHawaiiIDIdahoILIllinoisINIndianaIAIowaKSKansasKYKentuckyLALouisianaMEMaineMDMarylandMAMassachusettsMIMichiganMNMinnesotaMSMississippiMOMissouriMTMontanaNENebraskaNVNevadaNHNew HampshireNJNew JerseyNMNew MexicoNYNew YorkNCNorth CarolinaNDNorth DakotaOHOhioOKOklahomaOROregonPAPennsylvaniaRIRhode IslandSCSouth CarolinaSDSouth DakotaTNTennesseeTXTexasUTUtahVTVermontVAVirginiaWAWashingtonWVWest VirginiaWIWisconsinWYWyoming

Changing your name back52 pages

Ask for it in the divorce and it is usually free. Miss that moment and it can mean a new case, a filing fee, and in some states a newspaper advertisement.

Start here

Changing your name backThe order to do it in, and why Social Security has to come firstName change, state by statePublication, background checks and what the fallback costs

By state

ALAlabamaAKAlaskaAZArizonaARArkansasCACaliforniaCOColoradoCTConnecticutDEDelawareFLFloridaGAGeorgiaHIHawaiiIDIdahoILIllinoisINIndianaIAIowaKSKansasKYKentuckyLALouisianaMEMaineMDMarylandMAMassachusettsMIMichiganMNMinnesotaMSMississippiMOMissouriMTMontanaNENebraskaNVNevadaNHNew HampshireNJNew JerseyNMNew MexicoNYNew YorkNCNorth CarolinaNDNorth DakotaOHOhioOKOklahomaOROregonPAPennsylvaniaRIRhode IslandSCSouth CarolinaSDSouth DakotaTNTennesseeTXTexasUTUtahVTVermontVAVirginiaWAWashingtonWVWest VirginiaWIWisconsinWYWyoming

Special situations4 pages

Cases where the ordinary state process is not the whole story.

LGBTQ+ divorce and parentageThe marriage-date problem, and the parent who never adoptedMilitary divorceResidency, the SCRA, and the twenty-year rulesDivorce and immigrationConditional residence, the I-751 waiver, and VAWAUtah’s 5 May 2027 deadlineThe petition to have an unmarried relationship recognized closes to everyone on the same day

Before anything is filed8 pages

The stage most divorce writing skips entirely, because it assumes the decision is already made and the money is already understood. Neither is usually true.

If you have not decidedThe stage before anyone has decided, and the safety question that comes firstReconciliationWhat getting back together does to a divorce that is already runningKnow what you ownThe documents, and which line of which one reveals whatCredit in your own nameThe authorized-user trap, and why a decree does not bind a lenderCan I afford to leave?Runway, in your own numbers, and what to do with the time if the answer is not yetCan I afford to get divorced?The same income, two of almost everything, permanentlyThe two-household listOne home is becoming two, and the second one starts emptyDigital divorceShared Apple IDs, Find My, family plans and cameras, in the right order

Who gets what9 pages

Nobody searches for equitable distribution. They search for who gets the house.

Who gets whatThe seventeen questions that actually decide it, answered in your browserThe asset worksheetWrite it all down, and mark the column your case is really aboutSelling the ringsWhat happens to the rings, and what they are actually worthWhat am I forgetting?The 43 things people most often leave out of a settlement, sorted by what you own, owe and doChild support calculatorsYour state’s own official one, and what the calculation is doingIs there an alimony formula?In most of the country there is not, and we say which four states have oneIf the payments stop for goodWhat happens if the person paying dies or becomes disabledFinancial infidelityHidden money, hidden debt, and what concealment costs in a divorceWhen the income suddenly disappearsImputed income from both sides: the ex who suddenly earns nothing, and the person who really did lose the job and is being told they are hiding it

The people, and the conflict17 pages

The parts that are not about money or forms, and that nobody warns you about because they happen after everybody has stopped asking how you are.

Talking to the childrenBy age, with the questions they actually ask and how to answer themWhen the other adult badmouths youWhat to do about it, and why correcting the record usually backfiresConflict and the child in the middleThe Disneyland parent, badmouthing, loyalty binds, and what each one doesParental alienationA genuinely contested subject, with both sides shown rather than resolvedThe difficult co-parentNarcissist, borderline, bipolar: what is established, what is not, and what helpsWhen one home has far more moneyRaising children across two households with very different amounts of itHouse rules with two sets of childrenOne set of rules, and who is allowed to enforce themHaving another childWhat it does to existing support, and to the children you already haveWhen a stepparent divorces the parentThe second loss, and whether a stepparent has any standing at allWhen the children are adultsNobody writes a parenting plan, and nobody protects them eitherWhen you are the grown-up childThe divorce ended. The arrangements did notIf someone you love is getting divorcedWhat to say, what not to say, and how to help without being askedWho gets the friendsFriends are not marital property, but they divide themselves anywayGray divorceDivorce after sixty, and the decisions that cannot be undoneAddictionTheirs or yours: what courts order, what happens to treatment recordsWho gets the dogLegally furniture in most of the country, and not in eight statesCo-parenting apps comparedWhat each one costs, and which produce a record a court will take

What to expect, state by state51 pages

The same eight questions answered for every state, from the statute rather than from a summary of a summary.

AlabamaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Alabama, each cited to the statuteAlaskaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Alaska, each cited to the statuteArizonaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Arizona, each cited to the statuteArkansasProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Arkansas, each cited to the statuteCaliforniaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in California, each cited to the statuteColoradoProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Colorado, each cited to the statuteConnecticutProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Connecticut, each cited to the statuteDelawareProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Delaware, each cited to the statuteFloridaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Florida, each cited to the statuteGeorgiaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Georgia, each cited to the statuteHawaiiProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Hawaii, each cited to the statuteIdahoProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Idaho, each cited to the statuteIllinoisProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Illinois, each cited to the statuteIndianaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Indiana, each cited to the statuteIowaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Iowa, each cited to the statuteKansasProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Kansas, each cited to the statuteKentuckyProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Kentucky, each cited to the statuteLouisianaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Louisiana, each cited to the statuteMaineProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Maine, each cited to the statuteMarylandProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Maryland, each cited to the statuteMassachusettsProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Massachusetts, each cited to the statuteMichiganProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Michigan, each cited to the statuteMinnesotaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Minnesota, each cited to the statuteMississippiProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Mississippi, each cited to the statuteMissouriProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Missouri, each cited to the statuteMontanaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Montana, each cited to the statuteNebraskaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Nebraska, each cited to the statuteNevadaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Nevada, each cited to the statuteNew HampshireProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in New Hampshire, each cited to the statuteNew JerseyProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in New Jersey, each cited to the statuteNew MexicoProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in New Mexico, each cited to the statuteNew YorkProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in New York, each cited to the statuteNorth CarolinaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in North Carolina, each cited to the statuteNorth DakotaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in North Dakota, each cited to the statuteOhioProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Ohio, each cited to the statuteOklahomaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Oklahoma, each cited to the statuteOregonProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Oregon, each cited to the statutePennsylvaniaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Pennsylvania, each cited to the statuteRhode IslandProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Rhode Island, each cited to the statuteSouth CarolinaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in South Carolina, each cited to the statuteSouth DakotaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in South Dakota, each cited to the statuteTennesseeProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Tennessee, each cited to the statuteTexasProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Texas, each cited to the statuteUtahProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Utah, each cited to the statuteVermontProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Vermont, each cited to the statuteVirginiaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Virginia, each cited to the statuteWashingtonProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Washington, each cited to the statuteWest VirginiaProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in West Virginia, each cited to the statuteWisconsinProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Wisconsin, each cited to the statuteWyomingProperty regime, residency, grounds, waiting period and the custody standard in Wyoming, each cited to the statuteWhat to expect, all fifty statesThe index: grounds, waiting periods, filing fees and residency, one card per state

There is no public defender for a divorce. Here is what does exist, state by state, with the link to each one.

If you cannot afford a lawyerFee waivers, unbundling, clinics, and getting your spouse to pay your feesAlabamaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in AlabamaAlaskaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in AlaskaArizonaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in ArizonaArkansasNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in ArkansasCaliforniaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in CaliforniaColoradoNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in ColoradoConnecticutNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in ConnecticutDelawareNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in DelawareFloridaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in FloridaGeorgiaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in GeorgiaHawaiiNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in HawaiiIdahoNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in IdahoIllinoisNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in IllinoisIndianaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in IndianaIowaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in IowaKansasNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in KansasKentuckyNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in KentuckyLouisianaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in LouisianaMaineNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in MaineMarylandNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in MarylandMassachusettsNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in MassachusettsMichiganNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in MichiganMinnesotaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in MinnesotaMississippiNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in MississippiMissouriNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in MissouriMontanaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in MontanaNebraskaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in NebraskaNevadaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in NevadaNew HampshireNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in New HampshireNew JerseyNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in New JerseyNew MexicoNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in New MexicoNew YorkNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in New YorkNorth CarolinaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in North CarolinaNorth DakotaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in North DakotaOhioNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in OhioOklahomaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in OklahomaOregonNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in OregonPennsylvaniaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in PennsylvaniaRhode IslandNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in Rhode IslandSouth CarolinaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in South CarolinaSouth DakotaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in South DakotaTennesseeNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in TennesseeTexasNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in TexasUtahNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in UtahVermontNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in VermontVirginiaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in VirginiaWashingtonNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in WashingtonWest VirginiaNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in West VirginiaWisconsinNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in WisconsinWyomingNamed organizations, the fee-waiver process and the bar referral service in Wyoming

Books13 pages

Curated, with the ratings we could verify and honest cautions. Thirteen of the eighty we would call well evidenced, and we say which.

Books worth readingEighty books, and every one says who it is not forChildrenThe children shelfCo ParentingThe co parenting shelfDatingThe dating shelfDifficult ExThe difficult ex shelfHealthThe health shelfLgbtqThe lgbtq shelfMoneyThe money shelfNegotiatingThe negotiating shelfProcessThe process shelfRecoveryThe recovery shelfStepfamiliesThe stepfamilies shelfWorkThe work shelf

The community, and the rules5 pages

How this site works, who can say what on it, and what money can and cannot buy.

The community boardsThree separate spaces, and why it is not one forumCommunity rulesEight rules, and the reason for eachBuddy connectionsMatched with one person going through it too. Both anonymousHow the directory is orderedPublished before there is any money in it, and what is not for saleCopyright, reuse and licensingWhat you may do with this material, and how organizations can license it

About this site10 pages

How it is funded, how claims are checked, and what to do when we get something wrong.

AboutWho is behind The CuspHow we make moneyEvery revenue source, namedPricingWhat costs money and what does notWhat nobody has studied yetClaims everyone repeats that turn out to have no source, and what is actually known insteadWhen a state tax page is behind its own legislatureMethod note: what we found when we checked fifty revenue departments against their own statutesCorrectionsEvery error, dated, with what changedVerify a professionalCheck a listing against its licensing boardShare The CuspPass it to someone who needs a straight answerPrivacy policyTerms of service

Nothing matches that. Try a state name, or a word like “custody”, “alimony”, “forms” or “order”.

When it is over, it is not over

The most expensive mistakes in a divorce are made in the year after it — a retirement account that still names an ex-spouse, an order that divided a pension but never reached the plan, an insurance window that closed while somebody was recovering.

The checklist for after the decree → — what has a real deadline, what only looks like it does, and the three things courts have held that a decree does not do by itself.

Sources last checked29 August 2026
Page published29 August 2026
What this means. This is when the sources on this page were last read against their originals — statutes, court rules, official schedules — taken from the date this page was built from its sources. It is not the date the page was last edited. Adding a link or fixing a typo does not move it; re-reading the statute does. Law changes without notice, so treat anything time-sensitive as needing a fresh check. Where we get something wrong we publish it at thecusp.app/corrections with the date, what changed, and how long the error was live.