Custody in Oklahoma.
The starting point the law actually sets, what the judge has to weigh, and the deadlines that catch people out.
See a different stateOklahoma
There is no presumption of joint custody and no presumption of equal time. Joint custody is optional and can be refused outright: 43 O.S. § 109(D) provides that "The court also may reject a request for joint custody and proceed as if the request for joint custody had not been made." The closest Oklahoma comes to equal time is a policy statement that applies only at the temporary orders stage and only if a parent asks. 43 O.S. § 110.1: "It is the policy of this state to assure that minor children have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interests of their children… provided that the parents agree to cooperate and that domestic violence, stalking, or harassing behaviors as defined in Section 109 of this title are not present in the parental relationship. To effectuate this policy, if requested by a parent, the court may provide substantially equal access to the minor children to both parents at a temporary order hearing, unless the court finds that shared parenting would be detrimental to the child." Note every hedge in that sentence: "if requested," "may," "at a temporary order hearing," and only where the parents agree to cooperate and there is no violence. It is not a 50/50 default.
Use the state’s own words
Oklahoma says "custody," "joint custody," and "visitation." It also has a separate statutory policy of "shared parenting" (43 O.S. § 110.1). When joint custody is requested you will file a "plan for the exercise of joint care, custody, and control" — Oklahoma's version of a parenting plan (43 O.S. § 109(C)).
The short version4 points · tap one to jump to it
- How Oklahoma decides — Oklahoma does not define "legal custody" and "physical custody" as separate awards.
- The paperwork and the people — Only if joint custody is requested. 43 O.S. § 109(C): "If either or both parents have requested joint custody, said parents shall file with the court their plans for the exercise of joint care, custody, and control of their child.
- Moving away — Oklahoma requires 60 days' advance written notice.
- Later on — Under § 109.2(B), once the parties are established as the parents, the court decides custody between them.
In this subject 4
How Oklahoma decides
The short version4 points · tap one to jump to it
- How Oklahoma decides — Oklahoma does not define "legal custody" and "physical custody" as separate awards.
- The paperwork and the people — Only if joint custody is requested. 43 O.S. § 109(C): "If either or both parents have requested joint custody, said parents shall file with the court their plans for the exercise of joint care, custody, and control of their child.
- Moving away — Oklahoma requires 60 days' advance written notice.
- Later on — Under § 109.2(B), once the parties are established as the parents, the court decides custody between them.
In this subject 4
Decisions against where the child lives
Oklahoma does not define "legal custody" and "physical custody" as separate awards. It defines joint custody as covering both at once, in whatever proportion the court sets: 43 O.S. § 109(B) provides that the court "may grant the care, custody, and control of a child to either parent or to the parents jointly," and that "the terms joint custody and joint care, custody, and control mean the sharing by parents in all or some of the aspects of physical and legal care, custody, and control of their children." That phrase "all or some" is the key — an Oklahoma joint custody order can be joint as to decisions and lopsided as to time.
What the judge must weigh
Oklahoma has no enumerated list of best-interest factors, which surprises people coming from a neighboring state. The entire standard is 43 O.S. § 109(A): "In awarding the custody of a minor unmarried child or in appointing a general guardian for said child, the court shall consider what appears to be in the best interests of the physical and mental and moral welfare of the child." Everything else — the specific considerations a judge weighs — comes from Oklahoma case law rather than the statute. The statute does supply specific considerations in the domestic violence context (see below) and, at 43 O.S. § 112.5, an order of preference for who may receive custody or guardianship: a parent or both parents jointly; a grandparent; a person indicated by a deceased parent's wishes; a relative of either parent; the person in whose home the child has been living in a wholesome and stable environment, including a foster parent; or any other suitable person. Under § 112.5(B), a court "shall award custody or guardianship of a child to a parent, unless a nonparent proves by clear and convincing evidence" one of two abandonment-type showings.
What the child wants
Oklahoma is one of the few states in this group that names an age. 43 O.S. § 113(C): "There shall be a rebuttable presumption that a child who is twelve (12) years of age or older is of a sufficient age to form an intelligent preference." But the age only gets the child through the door. Under § 113(B) the court must first decide whether it serves the child's best interest to let the child express a preference at all. And under § 113(D), "The court shall not be bound by the child's choice or wishes and shall take all factors into consideration in awarding custody." The court may interview the child privately in chambers without the parents or attorneys present, though if a guardian ad litem has been appointed, the guardian must be present with the child; parents may submit questions or topics but the court is not obliged to use them. At either party's request a record is made of the in-chambers interview, but the parties get access to the transcript only if a parent appeals the custody decision (§ 113(E)-(F)).
Where there has been violence or abuse
43 O.S. § 109(I)(1): "In every proceeding in which there is a dispute as to the custody of a minor child, a determination by the court that domestic violence, stalking, or harassment has occurred raises a rebuttable presumption that sole custody, joint legal or physical custody, or any shared parenting plan with the perpetrator of domestic violence, harassing or stalking behavior is detrimental and not in the best interest of the child, and it is in the best interest of the child to reside with the parent who is not a perpetrator." The statute's definition of domestic violence is broad: "the threat of the infliction of physical injury, any act of physical harm or the creation of a reasonable fear thereof, or the intentional infliction of emotional distress by a parent or a present or former member of the household of the child, against the child or another member of the household, including coercive control by a parent involving physical, sexual, psychological, emotional, economic or financial abuse." Harassment covers a knowing and willful pattern of conduct directed at the other parent that seriously alarms or is a nuisance and serves no legitimate purpose. Under § 109(I)(3), "If a parent is absent or relocates as a result of an act of domestic violence by the other parent, the absence or relocation shall not be a factor that weighs against the parent in determining custody or visitation." Under § 109(I)(4), the court "shall consider, as a primary factor, the safety and well-being of the child and of the parent who is the victim."
The paperwork and the people
The parenting plan
Only if joint custody is requested. 43 O.S. § 109(C): "If either or both parents have requested joint custody, said parents shall file with the court their plans for the exercise of joint care, custody, and control of their child. The parents of the child may submit a plan jointly, or either parent or both parents may submit separate plans. Any plan shall include but is not limited to provisions detailing the physical living arrangements for the child, child support obligations, medical and dental care for the child, school placement, and visitation rights. A plan shall be accompanied by an affidavit signed by each parent stating that said parent agrees to the plan and will abide by its terms." Under § 109(D) the court issues a final plan based on what the parents submit, with whatever changes it finds are in the child's best interests. If you are not asking for joint custody, no plan is required. We did not confirm a statewide official form.
Mediation
Not mandatory, and it stops if abuse is raised. 43 O.S. § 107.3(B): when property, separate maintenance, or custody is at issue, the court "May refer the issue or issues to mediation if feasible unless a party asserts or it appears to the court that domestic violence or child abuse has occurred, in which event the court shall halt or suspend professional mediation" unless the court makes specific findings that the mediator has substantial training in the effects of domestic violence or child abuse on victims, that the victim or alleged victim is capable of negotiating with the other party, alone or with assistance, without suffering an imbalance of power, and related conditions. Separately, 43 O.S. § 107.2(B) requires that in divorces based on incompatibility filed on or after November 1, 2014 where a child under 18 is involved, "the adult parties shall attend, either separately or together, an educational program concerning the impact of divorce on children," covering the effects of divorce on child well-being, reconciliation as an optional outcome, the effects of family violence, children's behaviors and emotional states, and communication strategies.
If the court appoints someone to look into it
43 O.S. § 107.3(A)(1): "In any proceeding when the custody or visitation of a minor child or children is contested by any party, the court may appoint an attorney at law as guardian ad litem upon motion of the court or upon application of any party." The guardian ad litem is appointed "to objectively advocate on behalf of the child and act as an officer of the court to investigate all matters concerning the best interests of the child," and must review records, meet with and observe the child in appropriate settings, interview parents, caregivers, health care providers, teachers, counselors and child care providers, attend hearings, monitor the child's best interests throughout, and present written factual reports to the parties and the court before trial. On cost: "Expenses, costs, and attorney fees for the guardian ad litem may be allocated among the parties as determined by the court." Guardians ad litem must certify to the court that they have read and will follow the standard operating manual published by the Administrative Office of the Courts, which covers child abuse, child development, domestic abuse, sexual abuse, and behavioral health.
Moving away
What you must do before you move
Oklahoma requires 60 days' advance written notice. Under 43 O.S. § 112.3, every custody or visitation order must include an instruction in substantially these terms: "You are further ordered to give written notice of the proposed relocation or change of residence address on or before the sixtieth day before a proposed change. If you do not know and could not have reasonably known of the change in sufficient time to provide a sixty-day notice, you are ordered to give written notice of the change on or before the tenth day after the date that you know of the change." The notice must include the intended new residence with specific address if known, the mailing address, the home telephone number if known, the date of the intended move, a brief statement of the specific reasons for the proposed relocation, a proposal for a revised visitation schedule if any, and "a warning to the nonrelocating parent that an objection to the relocation must be made within thirty (30) days or the relocation will be permitted." The duty to update the information as it becomes known is continuing. "Principal residence of a child" is defined as the location a court designated, or the location the parties expressly agreed on, or — absent either — where the child lived with a parent or person acting as parent for at least six consecutive months.
Later on
If you were never married
An unmarried father generally needs parentage resolved, but Oklahoma gives the court room to act in the meantime. 43 O.S. § 109.2(A): "in any action concerning the custody of a minor unmarried child or the determination of child support, the court may determine if the parties to the action are the parents of the children. In a paternity action, prior to genetic testing to establish paternity pursuant to the Uniform Parentage Act, the court may award custody to the presumed father if it would be in the best interests of the child." "Presumed father" means a man who by operation of law under the Uniform Parentage Act (10 O.S. § 7700-204) is recognized as the father until that status is rebutted or confirmed. Under § 109.2(B), once the parties are established as the parents, the court decides custody between them.
Changing the order
This page covers the first custody order. To change an existing one, see how to modify custody and parenting time in Oklahoma.
The 60-day relocation notice is the rule Oklahoma parents break most often. It applies to a change in your child's principal residence, and it comes with a required warning telling the other parent they have 30 days to object. The mirror image matters too: if you receive that notice and let 30 days pass without objecting, the move is permitted. The second surprise is how little the Oklahoma statute actually says about best interests — 43 O.S. § 109(A) gives the judge one sentence and no list of factors, which means the evidence you bring and how you present it carries more weight here than in states with a statutory checklist. Third, 43 O.S. § 110.1's "substantially equal access" language is often quoted online as though Oklahoma defaults to 50/50. Read it closely: it applies only if a parent requests it, only at a temporary order hearing, only where the parents agree to cooperate, and even then the court only "may" grant it.
What we could not confirm
- Two cautions on Oklahoma. First, the official statute compilation we were able to read is the Oklahoma State Senate's printing of Title 43, which is current through the 2019 laws. The Oklahoma State Courts Network at oscn.net carries the up-to-date official text but asked for a human verification check we do not attempt, so please confirm the current wording of any section before you rely on it — particularly the relocation and domestic violence provisions, which legislatures amend often. You can read them yourself at oscn.net in an ordinary browser. Second, we could not confirm from the statute what you must prove to change an existing custody order; in Oklahoma that standard comes from court decisions rather than the statute book, and it is demanding once a permanent custody order is in place. Ask an Oklahoma attorney or your court clerk what showing your judge expects.
- 1 official page we tried to read refused automated access. We did not try to get around that, so some detail above was read from a different official source — a published court opinion quoting the statute, or the court’s own forms and instructions.
Compare all fifty states
Where 50/50 really is the default, and the twenty-six states where nothing is presumed.
And the money side
How Oklahoma calculates child support, and the overnight number that changes it.
The rest of what we have written about Oklahoma. Every figure is quoted from Oklahoma’s own statute or its courts’ own published schedule, and carries the date we last checked it.