Just been served with divorce papers? Start here.

If someone has just handed you divorce papers, or you signed for them at the door, it is normal to feel winded. Take a breath. You almost always have weeks, not days, and a short, plain response filed on time protects you far more than anything you might say to your spouse tonight. Every deadline in the table below was read on the state’s own court or legislature site on 10 November 2026. Where we could not read an official source, the row says so.

What being served means

Want to know how service works from the other side, including who is allowed to hand you the papers? See serving divorce papers, state by state.

The first few days, in order

1. Write down the date you were served

   Today, on paper and in your phone. If the papers came by mail, keep the envelope and the receipt. Your deadline is counted from this date, and you may later need to show when it was.

2. Find your deadline

   Most summonses print the number of days to respond. Check it against your state in the table below, then put the last day in your calendar and plan to file several days before it. Clerks’ offices close, e-filing systems go down, and a filing that bounces for a missing page does not stop the clock.

3. Read what your spouse is asking for

   The petition lists what they want: the divorce itself, and often property, debts, support and a parenting plan. Read it slowly. It is often less alarming than the envelope felt. Make a note of anything you disagree with, because your response is where you say so.

4. Look for an order that already applies to you

   In some states, serving the papers also puts an automatic order in place that stops either of you from selling property, moving money, canceling insurance or moving the children out of state. It can bind you from the moment you were served. Check automatic orders, state by state before you move any money.

5. Do not ignore it, even if you agree

   Agreeing that the marriage is over is not the same as agreeing with every term in the petition. If you do nothing, the court can go ahead on your spouse’s version (see what default means). If you do agree on everything, your state may have a simpler route, such as signing a settlement or an acceptance form, but read what you are signing first.

6. Get the papers in front of someone

   A one-hour consultation, a legal aid office or the court’s self-help center can tell you what your response should say. Bring the papers and the date you were served. Start with legal aid and fee waivers, the questions to ask a lawyer, or your state’s professional directory, linked from each row of the table.

7. If you are afraid for your safety

   Being served can raise the temperature at home. If there is violence or a threat of it, that is a separate and faster process. See domestic violence and divorce and protective orders, state by state.

Ways to respond

Every state lets you respond in writing and file it with the court that issued the summons, usually with a copy to your spouse or their lawyer. What the document is called differs by state, and is in the table. The main shapes are:

Your state’s divorce kit lists the official forms, including the response form where the state publishes one. If you cannot afford the filing fee for your response, ask the clerk about a fee waiver; see legal aid and fee waivers.

What “default” means, and what happens if the deadline passes

Default is the court’s word for a case where the person served did not respond in time. Your spouse can then ask the court to go ahead without you. What follows depends on the state, but the shape is broadly the same:

How it plays out differs a lot by state. In Alabama, Michigan, New York, North Carolina, Texas and Utah a default divorce still needs the filing spouse to prove the case with evidence. Michigan requires at least 14 days’ notice of the default hearing to the spouse who did not answer, Iowa requires a written 10-day Notice of Intent before a default decree, South Carolina requires notice of the hearing by certified mail at least 10 days ahead, and Kentucky requires the filer to mail you the motion. Maine allows no default divorce without notice and a chance to be heard. At the other end, Alaska’s court says it will not notify you, the Vermont and Washington summonses say nobody has to tell you about later hearings, and in Virginia a spouse in default is not entitled to notice of further proceedings. Some states leave a door open: in Arizona a response filed within 10 court business days of the default application stops it, in Connecticut an Appearance filed before judgment sets aside a default for failure to appear, and in California you may still be able to file if no default has been requested. Your state’s row has the detail.

If you are in the military. Federal law adds a protection in every state. Before a court enters a judgment against a spouse who has not appeared, the filing spouse must file an affidavit saying whether the other spouse is in military service, and if they are, the court may not enter a judgment until it appoints an attorney to represent them (50 U.S.C. § 3931, read on govinfo.gov). See military divorce.

Your deadline to respond, state by state

The time to respond, what the response is called, and what the state’s own rules or court pages say happens if you miss it. If your summons gives a different number, go by the summons and ask the clerk, because some states set the time in the summons itself. Each state name links to its full kit, and each row links to that state’s professional directory.

Counting the days

Count in calendar days, which means weekends and holidays count, unless your state says otherwise. California’s summons and Utah’s court guide say so outright. In Hawaii, Illinois, Kentucky, North Dakota, South Carolina, South Dakota, Washington and Wisconsin the day you were served is not counted. Texas is its own case: the answer is due by 10 a.m. on the Monday after 20 days have run. And in some states the number depends on how you were served: in New York, only papers handed to you in New York get 20 days, and other methods get 30.

The safest plan is the same everywhere: count from the day after you were served, assume weekends count, and file a few days early. If you are unsure of the date, the clerk can tell you what the court’s records show for when service was made.

What we could not confirm